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The phone
rang late one night and, as I always do, I answered by saying:
"Bill Ritter speaking." Which was followed by another
voice ... higher, sweeter and infinitely more teasing than
mine ... saying: "I bet you don't remember who this is?"
I didn't. And admitted I didn't. Which led to a second response:
"I bet you don't forget all the girls from your past."
And while I was still trying to figure out if I'd had a past
... and if there were any unforgettable girls in it ... she
suddenly interrupted and asked who it was that I said I was,
upon answering the phone. Alas, she wasn't looking for me
at all. Which left her feeling embarrassed. And me feeling
old.
I can't
remember everybody. And I have never spent much time worrying
whether anybody will remember me. But when I received a pair
of requests from two prior churches for large pictures of
myself suitable for hanging, I readily supplied them. Heck,
I even went out and had somebody take them. Then I delivered
them, not as offerings of vanity, but as antidotes to obscurity.
"Jesus,
remember me." Which is both the plea from the thief
and the title of this sermon. But the thief hanging next to
Jesus was not the first to voice it. That honor belongs to
the unnamed psalmist of Psalm 25: 7, who wrote: "Remember
not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; but according
to thy steadfast love, O Lord, remember me." What a wonderful
phrase ... and so beautifully turned. What it is, however,
is two phrases, juxtaposed in counterpoint. "Forget my
sins." "But don't ever forget me." Let's unwrap
both sides of the equation.
"Remember
not the sins of my youth," the psalmist cries. But
what were they? As I look at my life in the rearview mirror,
my youth was more boring than it was sinful. Which is probably
true for more young people than you might imagine. But that's
not the way most people picture things. When you hear the
phrase "the sins of youth," what do you see? Many
of you see sleazy dives and smoky rooms ... all-night binges
followed by aching heads ... toga parties and chugging brewskies
... fraternity basements and the backseats of Chevys. You
see road trips, beer runs, and descents-into-the-hell-of-God-only-knows-where.
In short, you see Animal House recreated in every sleepy
college and university town in North America.
I think
the word "sins" and the word "youth" are
grouped in the same sentence because youth is a time when
choices multiply, and not every choice is a wise one.
William
Willimon, Duke's infamous chaplain, writes about the university
music department's annual presentation of Handel's Messiah,
in the midst of which a young boy soprano steps center stage
and sings: "He suffered not corruption; he suffered not
corruption." All of which led Willimon to ask: "What
right does an 11 year old have to sing about corruption? How
can he begin to know of such a thing?" He found himself
wanting to tell the kid: "Come back when you're a Duke
sophomore, and you can sing about corruption with conviction."
Willimon then recalled that heroic figure of Catholicism,
St. Augustine, who (when he was the exact same age as a Duke
sophomore) wrote his famous prayer: "O Lord, make me
chaste; but not yet." For this, Augustine became the
patron saint of college students everywhere.
"O
Lord, remember not the sins of my youth." Not because
they were among my worst, but because they were among my first.
Alas, however, they have persisted. Meaning that my perversity
hasn't improved over time. All of which reminds me of the
man who was seen running frantically upstream beside a fast-flowing
river. Someone called out to him and said: "Where are
you going in such a hurry?" To which came the answer:
"My wife fell in the river and I'm trying to rescue her."
"But why are you running upstream?" the bystander
asked. "If your wife fell in that water, you ought to
be searching downstream." Which caused the husband to
shout back over his shoulder: "You don't know how contrary
my wife is."
But God
knows how contrary we are. And we know God knows. Which is
why we pray for divine amnesia. But our initial concern is
far more personal. Prior to wishing that God will forget
our sins, we wish that we could forget them. We wish they
could be over and done with. But they are hard to shake. We
are not the escape artists we pretend to be. In visiting with
people pastorally, the most frequent sort of suffering I encounter
is suffering brought on by memory. Which is usually well hidden.
For while we fill our family rooms with trophies, diplomas,
brass rings and blue ribbons ... the collective stuff of our
good memories ... we fill the corner cupboards of our souls
with darker memories, drawn from those times when we were
more deserving of chastisement than cheers.
But those
corner cupboards have direct pipelines, if not to our minds,
almost always to our digestive tracts. Which is why guilt
is an emotion that is often tasted before it is pondered.
All of
which leads to a second formation of the psalmist plea. "We
wish, O God, that others could forget our sins."
But they don't. They remember far too much, for far too long.
As we do with them. Sometimes the sins of others are remembered
with barely-disguised delight. "Let's see ... E. Smith.
Are we talking about E. Smith the philosopher? Or, if memory
serves me correct, about E. Smith the philanderer?" Try
as he might to begin again ... start over ... make a clean
break from it ... or have a fresh go at it ... there is always
someone who will remember that E. Smith once fell from grace
in October of 1978.
One of
my friends in the ministry recently attended his high school
reunion. As the band was belting out oldies but goodies in
the background, a former female classmate came up to him and
asked: "You weren't always planning on being a preacher,
were you? I mean, you weren't seriously thinking about the
ministry when we were in high school, were you?" In response
to this, my friend admitted that the ministry hadn't even
crossed his mind in those years. "Good," she said.
"That certainly makes me feel better."
There's
always somebody, don't you know, who remembers what we did
on Saturday nights ... and during the rest of week, as well.
It's not so much that we keep finding our sins, but that the
people who remember our sins keep finding us. The world is
never quite big enough for those who wish they could start
completely over.
Our sins!
- We
wish ... to God ... we could forget.
- We
wish ... to God ... that others could forget.
- We
wish ... to God ... that God could forget.
Does God
have the memory of an elephant? If so, think of the pain that
could cause us. For, as yet another psalm ponders: "If
thou, O Lord, shouldst mark iniquities, who (among us) could
stand?" Meaning that we can't take any comfort in the
fact that, as sinners go, there's a whole lot of people who
are a whole lot worse than us. The psalmist isn't saying:
"If thou, O Lord, shouldst mark iniquities, some of us
will have a leg up on the rest of us." At least I don't
think that's what the psalmist says. What the psalmist says
is: "If thou, O Lord, shouldst mark iniquities, none
of us will be left with a leg to stand on."
Last Sunday
night, Paul Stookey (of Peter, Paul and Mary) performed a
wonderful concert in our sanctuary. And while he didn't mention
it last Sunday, his presence recalled his earlier dream about
divine judgment. In Paul's dream he is waiting in a long line
(somewhat smugly) to have the content of his life reviewed
by God. In order to kill time while waiting, he strikes up
a conversation with the lady standing just ahead of him. Much
to his surprise, he finds he is talking to Mother Theresa.
But that surprise is mild, compared to the shock of overhearing
God say to the saintly sister: "All things considered,
Theresa, I was really expecting a lot more of you." Now
I don't know about you, but if I was standing there ... hearing
God say that to her ... I'd start looking for people wanting
to take cuts, so that I could give myself some time to reassess
my response.
Sure,
God knows we could have done worse. But God also knows we
could have done better. Much, much better.
But think
how painful such knowledge must be for God. If God really
knows all this stuff ... I mean, if God really sees everything,
misses nothing, and carries it all around in his head ...
God must suffer terribly. For what if God has to carry around,
not only the sum total of yesterday's meannesses and cruelties,
but also the collective memory of who did what to whom at
Auschwitz, Antietam, Appomattox, Belfast, Bosnia, and Baghdad
... proceeding alphabetically past Nagasaki and Oklahoma City,
clean on through to Uganda, Waterloo and Zaire. Could you
carry the memory of all that stuff? Or, sooner or later, would
you have to forget it ... if not for the sake of others, but
for your own? Nobody ... even God ... especially God ... wants
to carry all that crap around forever.
"Remember
not, O God, the sins of my youth. But according to thy steadfast
love, remember me." That's what we really want, isn't
it? Not to have our sins forgotten, but to have ourselves
remembered ... so that God will feel no need to call for our
file, but will simply call for us.
Hanging
beside him on the cross, one thief mocked Jesus. The other
thief said: "Man, don't you fear God? We are getting
what we deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong."
Which was when he turned to Jesus and said: "Jesus, remember
me."
Remember
me. Not my sins, but me. It's our last and deepest prayer
... that God will know us, in spite of all God knows about
us ... and that God will not turn his back on us, in spite
of all that has come between us. For to be forgotten by God,
would constitute the ultimate in homelessness, causing us
to be numbered among the wild and wandering strays of the
universe. Will God allow that to happen? Or is there something
in the visitation of Jesus ... the message of Jesus ... even
in the death of Jesus ... that will provoke God's memory?
A family
is out for a drive on a Sunday afternoon. It is a pleasant
afternoon and they are taking a relaxed and leisurely pace
down the highway. Suddenly the two children begin to beat
their father in the back: "Daddy, Daddy, stop the car.
Stop the car. There's a kitten back there on the side of the
road."
The father
says: "So there's a kitten back there on the side of
the road. We're having a drive."
"But
Daddy, you must stop to pick it up."
"I
don't have to stop and pick it up."
"But
Daddy, if we don't pick it up, it will die."
"Well,
then, it will just have to die. We don't have room for another
animal. We already have a zoo at the house. No more animals."
"But
Daddy, are you just going to let it die?"
"Be
quiet, children. We're trying to have a pleasant drive."
"We
never thought out daddy would be so mean and cruel as to let
a kitten die."
Finally,
the mother turns to her husband and says: "Dear, I think
you'll have to stop." So he turns the car around, returns
to the spot, pulls off to the side of the road, and says:
"You kids stay in the car. I'll see about it."
He goes
out to pick up the kitten. The poor creature is just skin
and bones ... all sore-eyed and full of fleas. But when he
reaches down to pick it up, with its last bit of energy the
kitten bristles, baring tooth and claw. Sssst! He picks up
the kitten by the loose skin of its neck, brings it over to
the car, and says: "Don't touch it. It's probably got
leprosy."
Back home
they go. When they get to the house, the children give the
kitten several baths and a gallon of warm milk. Then they
intercede. "Can we let it stay in the house, Daddy ...
just for tonight?" The father says: "Sure, take
my bedroom. The whole house is already a zoo." So they
fix a comfortable bed, fit for a pharaoh. Several weeks pass.
Then one day the father walks in, feels something rub up against
his leg, looks down, and there is a cat. He reaches down toward
the cat (but not before carefully checking to see that no
one is watching). When the cat sees his hand, it does not
bare its claws and hiss. Instead, it arches its back to receive
a caress.
Is that
the same cat? I mean, seriously, is that the same cat? No,
it's not the same frantic, frightened, forgotten cat from
the side of the road. Of course it's not. And you know as
well as I do what made the difference.
My friends,
one Friday afternoon, when God touched down into my little
corner of the world's sinful zoo to reach out to Billy, Krissy
and the Princess, I chanced to look at God's right hand. And
if memory serves me correct, it was covered with scratches.
*
* * * *
This sermon was delivered at the Good Friday Ecumenical Service
held at the First United Presbyterian Church, Birmingham,
Michigan.
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