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I do not
know what the first audible word out of a child’s mouth is
likely to be. But I have watched parents attempt to coax, even
bribe, their toddler into saying something that resembles
“Mama” or “Dada.” And, as in the game of horseshoes,
close is usually good enough. “See, she said it,” Mama
exclaims to Dada….even though Dada isn’t sure he heard it
(and Grandpa is absolutely certain he didn’t hear it). But
all of us know that what we want to hear goes a long way
towards determining what we actually do hear. Which is why it
is not uncommon for people to thank me profusely (at the door
of the church) for having said so clearly something that I
never said at all.
In
thinking about the early speech of children, Kris and I tried
to remember Julie’s first word. But all that comes to mind
is “ba”….weeks and weeks of “ba.” But since “ba”
was usually delivered with one or more hands outstretched, I
think it meant “I want it,” or “Let me have it.” And
when the desired object was already within reach, it was clear
to me that “ba” meant “more.”
Just the
other day, I overheard one of you say: “The good news is
that my little girl has a new word which she speaks loudly and
often. The bad news is that the word is ‘No’.” Later on,
that word will come in handy….if used, that is. We tell our
teens “Just say no,” fearful that they won’t. By which
we mean “no” to cigarettes….“no” to beer….“no”
to boys (or to girls who, I am told, now make as many advances
as boys, test the limits as often as boys, and push the edge
of the sexual envelope as far as boys). And we especially hope
they will say “no” to drugs. We applaud the teen who is
able to say to the tempter: “Just what is it about the word
‘no’ you don’t understand?”
Clearly,
“no” is an early word….a good word….a self-defining,
limit-setting, morality-maintaining word….with much to
commend it. But I would suggest that life is enriched and
ultimately better served by the “yes” word. Because while
“no” is off-putting, “yes” is in-viting. “No”
separates. “Yes” embraces. In his classic little book on
negotiation entitled Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreements
Without Giving In, Roger Fisher writes: “Every day
families, neighbors, couples, employees, bosses, businesses,
consumers, salesmen, lawyers and nations face the same
dilemma….how to get to ‘yes’ without going to war.”
I
have said it so often that I now hear many of you quoting it
back to me, that one of my cardinal rules of church
administration is that (at every level of governance) we
should strive to be a permission-giving rather than a
permission-denying organization. Which, unfortunately, is not
part of the DNA of most church bodies.
Picture
the scene. A relative newcomer to a church (which could be a
new member, but which could also be a new pastor) comes up
with a wonderful idea for ministry….or what he or she thinks
would be a wonderful idea for ministry. Only to be told:
“Before you go off half-cocked, you’d better test that out
with the committee….the council….the board….the
trustees.” Who, in their collective wisdom, listen to
it….ponder it….table it….come back to it….pro it and
con it….then kick it around and around and around and around
until most of the passion leaks out of it….never completely
condemning it….but saying in response to it:
To
which I have consistently countered: “The primary function
of governance is to encourage, underwrite, publicize, and then
get out of the way so that stuff can happen. If it is a good
idea, the people will be there. And if God is in the idea, the
money will be there.”
Last
Wednesday night at the Trustees meeting, a letter was shared,
written by Jeff Nelson. Jeff was proposing that there be not
one, but two senior high mission trips next spring. Different
parts of the country (Mexico and Memphis). Different sized
groups. Different objectives. But both
trips were well thought out and researched. At issue
was what role, if any, the Trustees would play in funding
these ventures, given that among the smaller endowments the
Trustees control is one committed to the support of youth
ministry.
Given
prior experience, the Trustees had a formula for funding one
trip. But not for two. So I sat there in amazement and watched
them do a little creative financing that would allow them to
double the amount, rather than simply splitting the amount.
Which wasn’t hard, especially after one of them said:
“After all, isn’t our challenge to find ways to grant
rather than withhold permission?” After which he then said:
“And having just received my Steeple Notes, didn’t I read
where the title of our pastor’s sermon for this Sunday is
‘Yes’?” Which was when I thought to myself, how many of
my colleagues spend their entire ministries without ever, even
once, experiencing the grace of God at a meeting of the Board
of Trustees?
But
the word “yes” defines persons every bit as much as it
defines institutions. Let me illustrate with a story I have
told to countless new member classes, but never (to my
knowledge) from this pulpit. Several years ago, a fellow asked
a question at a new member orientation that I couldn’t
answer….or at least, that I didn’t answer very well. Said
he:
Bill, I
like your church. (Not that it was, or is, my church, but
you’d be surprised how many people refer to it that way.
Note to clergy who think that people can be trained to think
differently about whose church it is: they can’t, so you
might as well give it up.)
I like
your church (he said). But I’ve picked up on something in
the months I’ve been coming here. When I look around at
all the things your church has to offer, it seems as if I
can do any of them….even all of them….whether I’m a
member or not. So given that I am more the loner-type than
the member-type, why should I join?
And
he was right, of course. There wasn’t much he couldn’t do
as a non-member that would suddenly be open to him if he
became a member. As a non-member, he could worship in the
sanctuary….sing in the choir….attend any class….teach
any class….serve on any committee…. attend any
function….counsel the youth….join a baseball team….or go
on a mission trip. In addition, he could have his baby
baptized here, his daughter married here, his Uncle Louie
buried here, and no one would ever deny him the Sacrament of
the Lord’s Supper here. Moreover, we would gladly (and
without reservation) take his money here.
As
a non-member, among the few things denied him would be the
opportunity to vote on a capital project, serve on the Board
of Trustees, or become president of the United Methodist
Women. But in all my years of teaching new member classes, I
have yet to meet anyone whose primary question was: “How can
I become president of the United Methodist Women?” In terms
of privileges granted versus privileges denied, there is
little or no advantage in becoming a member of any United
Methodist church….at least not as the world defines the word
“advantage.”
Which
was when I remembered Peter’s question of Jesus, again
concerning advantages: “Lord, if we stay, what’s in it for
us?” But I didn’t tell this guy about the cross (which was
what was “in it” for Jesus) or the cruel deaths (that were
“in it” for several followers of Jesus). In truth, I
don’t remember what I said to the guy. But I know what
I’ve said to others since. I’ve told them various versions
of the following story. Indulge me.
The
date is July 2, 1966. It’s about 3:05 in the afternoon. I am
standing at the intersection of two carpeted aisles. There are
three in tuxedos behind me…..three in tea-length formals
across from me….and two in black robes perched one step
above me. Rising to their feet at the swelling of the organ,
it feels like there are five thousand to the left of me and
five thousand to the right of me. And there, walking toward
me, down the center aisle of First Methodist Church of
Dearborn, was the lovely Kristine Larson of Novi. And as she
got closer and closer…..and my collar got tighter and
tighter….and my stomach, queasier and queasier….and my
eyes, moister and moister….I thought to myself: “This
isn’t just hanging around with Tina Larson anymore.”
Which
realization was followed by my “Yes” to her and her
“Yes” to me, cemented in phrases about better/worse,
richer/poorer and sickness/health. So was I ready for that?
Probably. But did I evenly remotely grasp the implications of
that? Probably not. Though it occurred to me some years later
that that “yes”….spoken that day….to that woman….has
made all the difference in my life. But more than that, it has
been all the “yeses,” spoken on all the other days, that
have made all the difference in my life. I am talking about
yeses to a pair of schools….a pair of children….a quartet
of churches….a bevy of bishops….and one very inquisitive
board of ministerial inquiry. But I could just as well be
talking about yeses to friends and family, tasks and travels.
I owe my life to a slew of yeses.
The
funny thing is, I have long since forgotten the
“nos”….jobs I’ve turned down….females I’ve turned
down…..invitations I declined…..schools I
rejected….roads I traveled not. Speculation concerning what
might have been is just that….speculation. But the
“yeses” have meant commitments. And it is the commitments
that have made all the difference. Void of the commitments, my
life would be an empty shell of what it is today.
All of
which is capstoned by my commitment to Jesus Christ. Some
years ago, Dag Hammarskjold, the Secretary-General of the
United Nations and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1961
(who lost his life on a peacekeeping mission in a plane crash
over the Congo), wrote:
I
don’t know who, or what, put the question.
I don’t know when it was put.
I don’t even remember answering.
But at some moment, I did answer “Yes”
to
someone/something.
And from that hour, I was certain that existence was
meaningful,
and that life….my life, lived in self-surrender….had a
goal.
From
a very early time in my life, I knew a question had been put.
And while I can’t pinpoint one specific moment that might be
called “The Ask”….or another specific moment that might
be called “The Answer”….I knew that Jesus Christ was at
the heart of both “The Ask” and “The Answer”….and
that anything other than a “yes” would have relegated me
to a life that was less.
But
none of those were the ultimate “yes.” Those were simply
“yeses” said by me. Which, while important, paled before
the “yes” that was said to me.
In
our text, Paul is in trouble. Again. Having rearranged his
travel plans so as to put off (for a time) his promise to
return to Corinth, his detractors (of whom there were many)
said: “First he says yes. Then he says no. What should we
believe? Is it yes or is it no? And if there is nothing about his
promises we can take to the bank, how can we trust the things
he has told us about the promises of God? Maybe God is as
fickle as Paul is.”
To
which Paul does three things. First, he defends his integrity
(my “yes” is good). Second, he defends his theology
(God’s “yes” is good). Finally, he puts the entire
matter into a most vivid phrase: “Jesus is the ‘yes’ to
every promise of God.”
So,
assuming you believe that, let me ask you what you think. Will
God turn back….turn away….turn his heart….or turn tail
and run? Will God sour on us….quit on us….walk away from
us….or wash his hands and say “To hell with us”? Will
God let us stew in our juice….slosh in our slime….sink in
our sin….or stink in our playpen? Will God hand us over to
our multiple enemies without a fight….turning off (once and
for all) the spigot from “whence the healing stream doth
flow?”
“No,”
says Paul to the Romans. We shall be more than
conquerors….think about that, “more” than
conquerors….through him who loved us. Jesus, being the
“yes” to every promise of God. Then, as Paul goes on to
say in verse 22: “The Holy Spirit in our hearts constitutes
the earnest money (Greek word arrabon) or the first
installment paid on that guarantee.”
Don’t
you see what that means? The “yes” has already been
spoken. If only the church could hear that. If only those
churches that love the sound of the word “no” could
believe that. Says the world to the church: “Your lips tell
me no, no….but there’s yes, yes in your eyes.”
Thankfully, in some corners of Christendom, the ayes still
have it.
Note:
This sermon was preached on Ingathering Sunday, when
congregants bring both their offerings for the present year
and their pledges of support for the coming year.
As
to Roger Fisher’s book, Getting to Yes, I can’t say
that I have read it. But I have seen it quoted in other
places, most recently by Peter Gomes of Harvard. Dag
Hammarskjold’s quote comes from his highly-acclaimed memoir,
Markings.
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