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Several
years ago (bordering on seven, to be exact), I told you of the
games I played on Wisconsin Avenue when I wore a younger
boy’s clothes. There was hockey in the street, step baseball
against the porch, various forms of basketball (two-on-two,
three-on-three, shirts-on-skins, horse and 21) out by the
garage. There was also Kick the Can, Duck on the Rock and Rain
on the Roof out in the alley….not to forget Hide and Seek
all over the neighborhood.
In
the latter game, some kid would press his head against the
big, old maple tree in front of Mrs. Gielow’s house, close
his eyes (we hoped), and count to a hundred by fives (we
hoped). Truth be told, he always shaved the count a little. I
suppose, because we always shaved the count a little. But we
managed to scramble and hide anyway. At least I did.
I
was good at hiding, given that I was forever scouting out new
spots….clever spots….never-before-spotted spots….spots
that often took a bit of work to wriggle myself into. One time
I hid so good, the kid doing the seeking walked right by me at
least ten or twelve times. I mean, he could have touched me,
so close were we. But he didn’t see, so clever was me.
Hiding
there, all covered and camouflaged, I said to myself:
“He’ll never find me here. No, he’ll never find me
here.” Which was when it occurred to me: “He’ll never
find me here.” Which was also when I wiggled some part of my
body, which exposed me….outed me….revealed me…. leading
me to say (upon discovery): “Ah, shoot, you found me.”
Next
time you are a part of one of those multi-generational family
gatherings (like Christmas Day dinner, perhaps), suggest that
the kids play an indoor game of Hide and Seek while the adults
have a second or third cup of coffee. Then notice how many of
the players (especially the younger players) give themselves
away in their hiding places, especially if the game goes on
for any length of time and they have yet to be detected.
Concerning
the time-honored pastime of hiding and seeking, Robert Fulghum
once wrote:
In
the early dry dark of an October’s Saturday evening, the
neighborhood children are playing Hide and Seek. How long
since I last played it? Thirty years. Maybe more. But I
still remember how. I could become part of the game in an
instant, if invited. But adults don’t play it anymore. Not
for fun, anyway. Too bad.
Did
you have a kid in your neighborhood who always hid so good
that nobody could find him? We did. After a while, we would
give up on him and take off, leaving him to rot wherever he
was. Sooner or later, he would show up all mad because we
didn’t keep looking for him. And that would start an
argument. No matter what, though, the next time he would
hide too good again. He’s probably still hidden somewhere,
for all I know.
As
I write this, the neighborhood game goes on. There is a kid
hidden under a pile of leaves, just below my window. He has
been there for a long time and everyone else has been found.
It seems as if they are about to give up on him over at the
base. I half considered going out and telling the other
players where he is hiding. Then I thought about setting the
leaves on fire to drive him out. Finally, I just yelled out
the window: “Get found, kid.” Which scared him so bad he
wet his pants, started crying, and ran home to tell his
mother. It’s hard to know how to be helpful, sometimes.
Thirty-eight
years in the ministry have taught me that the desire to be
discovered is greater than I once thought. Seemingly, we want
to be found. Or we want to be found out. We are lousy at
secrets. Especially secrets about us. The things we hope
nobody will find out, we let slip out. Which was one function
of the Roman Catholic confessional….its beauty being its
anonymity. The confessional was one place you could “say
it,” and remain fairly confident “it” would go no
further.
I
have discovered that there are people who do very good things,
only to say: “If it’s all right with you, I’d just as
soon nothing get out about this.” But eventually there is
slippage….often self-slippage….and something “gets out
about this.” And there are people who do very bad things,
only to say: “If it’s all right with you, I’d just as
soon nothing get out about this.” But I am never surprised
when, because of somebody’s slippage….again, usually
self-slippage…. something “gets out about this.”
We
trip ourselves up, every time. We give ourselves away, every
time. Or perhaps it is better to rearrange those words, just a
little, so that they read: “We give ourselves up, every
time.” The phrase “give ourselves up” introduces
religious language, given that it sounds, for all the world,
like self-surrender….even when no one is necessarily seeking
us.
But
what if someone is? Minutes ago, I reread this little gospel
story about this little man (little, physically….littler
still, ethically). I’m talking about this man we know by the
name Zacchaeus. I said “reread this story” because I’ve
read it before. So I feel no need to consume great amounts of
time describing Jericho….describing sycamore trees…
describing exactly how Zacchaeus was a crook (albeit a very
white collar crook)….and describing exactly why nobody in
Jericho liked him.
Suffice
it to say (for purposes of this little exercise) that
Zacchaeus is the one doing the hiding, while Jesus is the one
doing the seeking. And the signature text for the second
Sunday of Advent is found in verse ten: “For the Son of Man
came to seek and save the lost.” That’s where Advent
begins, don’t you see. Advent begins with a God who comes
looking. Looking for who? Looking for the lost….which,
depending on the hour, the day or the circumstance, might be
any of us…. indeed, might even be us, given that churches
double nicely as sycamore trees (as places to hide, I mean).
Concerning
people who hide, there are religions….and denominations
within religions….that feature gods who say
Forget ‘em.
Who needs ‘em?
(even) To hell with ‘em.
But
Luke says that ours is a God who comes seeking them. Which, I
suppose, is only fitting, given that the first question God
asks in scripture (I mean the very first question God asks) is
“Adam, where are you?” And Adam probably giggled (or
wiggled a toe) to give away his hiding place, just as
Zacchaeus probably rustled a branch to give away his.
When
God comes into the world, God comes seeking. God does not wait
to be discovered (like North America waiting for Christopher
Columbus). God takes the initiative, looking especially for
outsiders (the better to turn them into insiders). Which cuts
across the grain of human nature, given that human nature
thrives on keeping outsiders, outside.
I
remember a few tree houses as a kid. And the real joy of a
tree house was not so much in who you let into it, but in who
you kept out of it. Not unlike all those little clubs we
formed as children. All we needed….all we ever needed….to
form a club was four people. We needed a president, a
secretary, a member, and a fourth kid to be kept out at all
costs….without whose exclusion, the club would have no
reason to exist. We boys had clubs to exclude our sisters. Our
sisters had clubs to exclude us (and the little girl next
door).
But
sooner or later, God is going to find everybody. God is going
to find the ins and the outs….the hiders and the
seekers….even the treed and those who tree them. No one is
going to escape God’s search and discovery act. All the
evasions in the world aren’t going to evade. All the
cover-ups in the world aren’t going to cover. All the
disguises in the world aren’t going to disguise. Neither are
all the sycamore trees in the world going to conceal.
A
clergy colleague of mine hates to admit that he is
addicted….20 years now….to watching General Hospital. And
when a trip out of the country caused him to miss a couple of
week’s worth of episodes, he figured he’d catch up by
driving down to the corner for an issue of Soap Opera
Digest. But figuring it would be clerically uncool to be
caught buying (let alone reading) such a rag, he pulled his
collar up….pushed his hat down….and whispered to the
counter man: “You wouldn’t happen to have a copy of
Soap Opera Digest, would you?” Whereupon the counter man
shouted to the stock boy: “The reverend wants a copy of Soap
Opera Digest. See if we have one in the back.”
No,
we will be found out. Better still, we will be found. Even
when we’re not hiding….or haven’t the foggiest notion we
are lost.
Everybody
in the room knows what grace is. Grace is mercy after the
fact. But fewer than three or four people in the room knows
what prevenient grace is. Prevenient grace is mercy before the
fact. Let me illustrate.
Kid
wanders away. Wanders away where? Department store. Amusement
park. County fair. Disney World. Darned if I know.
Wanders
away from who? Mother. Father. Teacher. MYF counselor. Darned
if I know. All I know is that the kid wanders away.
Well,
that’s not all I know. I also know that the searchee is
often oblivious….hours later….to his plight. Kid can’t
figure out (when finally found) what all the fuss is about.
Why
is everybody looking for me? What’s the big deal? I was just
checking things out….trying things on….having a merry old
time.
Meanwhile,
the searcher (motivated by two parts love and one part terror)
is both focused and frantic, trying to mask….albeit
unsuccessfully….any evidence of desperation and longing.
Sound
like any God you know?
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