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He’s
dead now. Gone for a while. Long enough (in time) so I can
tell his story. Removed enough (from any of you) so I can keep
his secret. He was a married man….a family man….a devoutly
spiritual man….a committed church man….a tender and
truthful man….a tithing and talented man….but, in the
later years of his life, a troubled and tormented man.
He
was a pedophile. If “abuse” is the appropriate word to use
in such circumstances, he abused once. Maybe only once. He was
elderly and lonely at the time. The boy was vulnerable and
trusting at the time. It happened. It was discovered. He was
charged. The case was settled. How, I’d just as soon not
say. Legally, he had his comeuppance. Financially, there was
recompense. For years following, there was judicial vigilance.
But there was no time served. Although his time on earth was
probably shortened by what he put himself through, once the
courts were done.
He
used to talk to me about it. He acknowledged that the
attraction was in the nature of an addiction. But he
maintained he had never previously yielded to temptation. It
was the yielding that grieved him, not the attraction. He knew
it was wrong. He knew he was wrong. I heard his confession. I
heard his repentance. The one thing I never heard from his
lips was an excuse or an explanation. I’m not sure he ever
knew why.
The
concern that brought him to see me, time after time, was that
he was unforgivable. And the text to which he referred, time
after time, was this one about causing little ones to
stumble…. especially the line that began: “It would be
better for such a man if a millstone were hung around his neck
and he were thrown into the sea.” He was certain that was
him. He was equally certain that such a fate awaited him.
There was no question in his mind that he had stretched the
elastic of divine mercy beyond the breaking point, to the
degree that it would not be his….mercy, I mean.
I
suppose his visits to my office were one way of hoping against
hope. Or perhaps he came because I thought better of him than
he thought of himself. Although it took me a while to get
there. In the beginning, it was hard.
In
my ministry, there is nothing I haven’t seen and nothing I
haven’t heard. I guess when you’ve done a funeral for
several plastic bags of body parts pulled from a dumpster,
there’s not much you’ve missed. But I would have gladly
missed the pedophilic confessions of this man who called me
“friend.” For while nothing surprises me anymore, there
are still a few things that bother me….as in “seriously”
bother me.
We
have been reading about the scandal of priestly pedophilia in
the Roman Catholic church. Every day brings a new revelation.
We are astounded by the numbers….the dollars….the
cover-ups….the broad brushstrokes of guilt by
association….and the repeated blows to the solar plexus of
public trust. Like many of you, I am saddened. I am sickened.
I am shamed.
But
I am a preacher, not a reporter. And this is a sermon, not a
news story. So I’ll not detail it, day by day….year by
year….diocese by diocese….state by state. Clearly, it’s
bigger than we thought and will get bigger still. There will
be criminal actions taken and lawsuits filed. As to whether it
will dismantle priestly celibacy, I doubt it. As to whether it
will break the church, I also doubt it. But it will dent it
badly (both in terms of dollars and in terms of members). And
I can’t help but think of the ministry that won’t get done
(and the people who won’t get served) because of all the
time and money that this will require. If one inner-city Roman
Catholic grade school is forced to close, or if one soup
kitchen or warming shelter is shut down as a result of funds
diverted to court actions and lawsuits, the price will have
already been too high.
Just
as I am not a reporter, I am also not a psychiatrist. Frankly,
I do not know why someone becomes a pedophile or why the
priesthood attracts them. My guess is that today’s villains
were yesterday’s victims (meaning that they, themselves, may
have been abused). And the church, in its kindness, has always
opened its doors, its heart and its clerical ranks to victims.
Garret Keizer, in a wonderful article in the Christian
Century, writes:
It
will not come as news to anyone who has attended church for
more than five Sundays in a row that the polite culture and
non-judgmental ethos of Christian community often exerts a
powerful attraction for disturbed individuals of every kind,
from the passively aggressive to the aggressively predatory.
Such individuals tend to go for power vacuums with all the
primal instincts of a shark.
What
Keizer is saying is that the very things that make churches
comfortable places to be…. namely the kindly and polite
demeanor of the members….tend to create a haven for troubled
individuals, both lay and clergy….who need a place to park
their baggage, along with permission to unpack their pain. And
as for the cover-ups, they are probably as understandable as
they are unconscionable…. rooted as they are in the instinct
for institutional survival.
Just
as I am not a reporter or a psychiatrist, neither am I a
denominational official. If I were Cardinal Law of Boston, I
would resign. Not as a result of weighing the likelihood of
being toppled by forces outside the church, but as a simple
Christ-like gesture of sacrifice within the church. Somebody
needs to take the anguish of the institution unto himself and
tip the tide of the scandal from incrimination to healing.
Among
Methodist clergy, I have never in 37 years encountered a
pedophile. But that does not mean that celibacy and fidelity
define us all. We are not without colleagues who have stepped
across a line….going where they should not go….doing what
they should not do….sexually speaking. As concerns the
reactions of my superiors to such clergy, I have seen the days
of the “soft line” (as in “send ‘em for counseling,
then ship ‘em to another church”). And I have seen the
days of the “hard line” (as in “suspend ‘em, remove
‘em, and make it so hard to restore ‘em so that you never
again have to deal with ‘em”). For the last 15 or 20
years, we have taken the “hard line,” sometimes turning
the church into an institution that shoots its wounded and
then leaves them there to die. But it has kept us free from
lawsuits.
Are
there preachers who stepped over the line 20 years ago and are
still preaching? Sure there are. And are there preachers who
have been mustered out in the last decade who could do
wonderful and trustworthy work now if given a second chance?
Sure there are. But given the present tribulations of our
Roman Catholic brethren, I can see the value of erring on the
side of vigilance (institutionally speaking). And it gives me
one more reason to praise God that I was never bitten by the
bug to be a bishop.
What
I have finally conceded is that every sexual sin involving
clergy is an abuse of power. Which is strange, given that most
clergy don’t think they have any power. But it appears that
we possess more than we know….that people will say “yes”
to us, because how could anything “dirty” come from one so
“holy”? Or, as one woman said after an affair with her
pastor: “Somehow, it seemed like I was going to bed with
God.”
Which
seems utterly ridiculous to me. But it does prove that a
strange mystique and mythology is still out there. When I
think of Paciorek brothers submitting to that same little
priest for so many years….never telling their
father….never telling their mother…. never telling each
other….hating every minute….fearing every
encounter….despising the priest….but never resisting the
priest…. I can’t get over the incongruity of it all. I
mean, the Paciorek boys were big, strapping
athletes….All-State football players. Any one of them could
have pinned that priest to the wall until he whimpered for
mercy. But none of them did. Because of who he was. And
because of the powerful aura he carried.
All
of which leads me to say something I never though I’d say
from a pulpit. If you are ever encouraged or enticed to become
romantically or sexually involved in a way that sends funny
signals to your value system or doesn’t quite square with
your understanding of the Gospel, do not disconnect the radar
that is sounding in your soul, just because the romantic or
sexual overture is being made by someone wearing a collar,
carrying a Bible, or answering to some variation of the title
“Reverend.”
Now,
back to our text. For while I am not a reporter, a shrink or a
briefcase bureaucrat for institutional Christianity, I am a
fair-to-middling student of the scriptures. So hear the word
again:
Then
Jesus said to his disciples: “It is impossible that scandals
not occur. But woe be to the one through whom they occur. It
will be better for such a one to be thrown into the sea with a
millstone around his neck than that he should cause one of
these little ones to stumble. So be on your guard.” (Anchor
Bible translation of Luke 17:1-3a)
All
right, let’s break it down.
First,
Jesus seems to accept the inevitability of scandal (a
realistic posture, methinks), but differentiates between those
who cause it and those who are caught up in it.
Second,
the “little ones” may or may not be children. Some have
suggested that the phrase should be translated “innocent
ones.” Most likely, the “little ones” are those who are
relatively new to faith.
Third,
a millstone (“mulos onikos” in the Greek) was a grinding
stone of sufficient size so as to require a donkey in harness
to pull it.
Fourth,
the “sea” was especially feared in Jewish culture….not
because it was wet….not because it was cold….not because
it was deep….but because it was deemed to be godless. Heaven
was a place where there would be no more sea (Rev. 1:1). Which
explains why drowning was a Roman punishment, but never a
Jewish one.
Taken
as a whole, this text suggests that what we are reading in our
daily papers is serious business. Also sinful business. In
recent years, it has become commonplace to lump all sin
together….suggesting not only that all of us do it, but that
all of “it”
is equally grievous to God. We remember the days when our
Catholic playmates differentiated mortal sins from venial sins
(even though we didn’t understand the distinction and
secretly suspected that they didn’t, either). But we
listened as they told us which sins required how many “Our
Fathers” and how many “Hail Marys,” further suggesting a
quantitative hierarchy of depravity. So in something of a
theological revolt, we Protestants said: “Stop quantifying
and start repenting. Sin is sin. And God hates it all.”
But
one keeps running up against texts in the New Testament that
suggest, where sin is concerned, maybe God hates some of it
more than the rest of it. Which is why I was fascinated to
read a recent editorial by Greg Jones entitled “Tough Love
for Sexual Abusers.” As most of you know, Greg Jones has
preached from this pulpit and currently serves as the Dean of
Duke Divinity School (where he guides and monitors the
progress of Wil Cantrell). Greg writes (in point five of a
six-point essay):
We
need to be able to claim that we are all sinners without
claiming that all sins are equivalent. Betrayals of trust,
especially in the presence of power differentials and by
people in whom sacred authority has been vested, are
especially grievous sins that call for clear accountability
and expectations of true repentance.
Ah,
Greg, well said. But will such repentance….however
“true”….be sufficient to turn the heart of God, given
earlier words about “millstones,” “drownings” and
“seas?” Clearly, Jesus is venting anger. But is Jesus also
voicing policy?
This
is not for me to say. I know which way I lean. Most of you
know which way I lean. But how best to say it now? Let me try
this.
Go
back to my friend (with whose story I began). He readily
identified himself as a sinner. But I meet lots of sinners
(starting with the one in the mirror). Most of them explain
their sin….excuse their sin….rationalize their sin….find
somebody on whom to blame their sin….and readily compare
their sin with the sin of others, in such a way as to emerge
smelling more like a rose than rose fertilizer (as in “you
think I’m bad, you should see….”).
But
this fellow did none of the above. No rationalizations. No
comparisons. In fact, I never met anybody who felt more
remorse or expressed more repentance. Which slowly won over my
hardened heart. I had compassion on him then. In death, I have
compassion on him now.
I
suppose it’s possible that God will take the hard
line….with drowning as the consequence for fondling.
That’s what the text seems to say. But (speaking only for
me) I find it hard to live with the notion that I am more
compassionate than God.
Note:
The comments of Duke Divinity School’s Dean, L. Gregory
Jones, can be read in Christian Century under the title
“Tough Love for Sexual Abusers” (April 24-May 1, 2002).
The same can be said for Garret Keizer’s comments under the
heading “Career Ministry.” The translation of Luke 17:1-4
is by Joseph Fitzmyer in the Anchor Bible Series. Final
thoughts about being “more compassionate than God” were
stimulated by Kathleen Norris in her prize-winning Amazing
Grace.
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