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More and
more of you have been telling me about a radio station on
the AM dial (580 by number), where they play "oldies
from the fifties." So on days when I am feeling my age,
I give a listen and am amazed at how many tunes and texts
I can remember. Why just the other day I joined the Kingston
Trio wondering "Where Have All the Flowers Gone,"
crooned with Patti Page (in 3/4 time, no less) about that
"Beautiful Tennessee Waltz," and then gave full-throated
support to the lyric that begins: "There's a pawn shop
on a corner in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania." I always change
the dial, however, before my steering wheel locks and I head
straight for the office of the Social Security Administration.
One song
I have yet to hear ... on 580 or anywhere ... is an old camp
ballad entitled: "There's A Hole In the Bucket."
It's one of those round-the-circle songs where, three minutes
and 30 seconds later, you wind up exactly where you began,
with very little knowledge as to how you got there. It's a
two-person song ... a Georgie and Liza song ... wherein Georgie
(the dumb one) begins by complaining to Liza (the slightly
less dumb one):
There's
a hole in the bucket,
dear Liza, dear Liza.
There's a hole in the bucket,
dear Liza, a hole.
Which
occasions her response:
Then
mend it, dear Georgie,
dear Georgie, dear Georgie.
Then mend it, dear Georgie,
dear Georgie, mend it.
You can
already see why this is one of the truly great lyrics of all
time. He asks: "With what shall I mend it, dear Liza,
dear Liza?" To which she answers: "With straw, dear
Georgie; dear Georgie, with straw." He then poses the
possibility that the straw might be too long, leading her
to suggest cutting it. He ponders: "With what shall I
cut it?", occasioning the response: "With a knife."
But we're
only warming up at this point. He speculates that the knife
may be too dull. She responds by telling him to "wet
it." He wants to know, "With what shall I wet it?"
She answers: "With water." But now that the need
for water has been raised, he wants to know: "Then how
shall I fetch it, dear Liza, dear Liza?" Leading to her
answer: "With a bucket, dear Georgie; dear Georgie, that's
what." And having seen it coming a mile away, we can
now all join in Georgie's lamentful refrain:
There's
a hole in the bucket,
dear Liza, dear Liza.
There's a hole in the bucket,
dear Liza, a hole.
I don't
know about you, but I have participated in discussions that
go just like that. And I have known people with a problem
just like that ... meaning that their bucket has a hole in
it. Let me explain.
Some years
ago, when Kris was in the "crisis hotline" business,
she attended a national conference of social worker types,
where she learned a bunch of stuff, made a ton of friends,
and came home with one wonderful image ... the hole-y bucket.
Said one of the keynote speakers: "All of us carry a
bucket about waist high. Some of us attach it to our belt,
hook it in our pants, fasten it to our skirt, whatever. Our
buckets may be of different sizes, different colors, different
materials or different shapes, but all of us have one."
The bucket
is there to collect all of the things we need to make it through
the day ... or to make it through our life. It's there to collect
good stuff ... affirming stuff ... esteem-building and ego-stroking
stuff. It's there to collect "attaboys" and "attagirls."
It's there to collect accolades and assurances. And when we
fall short, fall down or fall over, it's there to collect
the promise that our sins are absolvable, even when our behaviors
are less-than-applaudable.
When life
is fair, our bucket is full. We get what we need ... .in the
amount we need ... at the time of our need. If our bucket looks
a little low (which is evidenced by the fact that we look
a little low), folks rush to fill it. Most do so quietly ... unobtrusively ... but
caringly: "Here, slip this in your bucket," they
say. Or maybe they just mail something to your bucket (like
a card or little note). Or perhaps they just put something
out in the air ... like a song ... or a sermon ... so that it
falls in your bucket, just when you need it most.
Does it
really work that way? Sure it works that way. Not always.
Not immediately. Not automatically. But it happens. Buckets
do get filled. My bucket has been filled, sometimes to the
point of overflowing. And often, at the point of greatest
need. It's one of the things that makes life bearable and
God trustable. People show up ... and ante up ... just when
I am running on empty and the bottom of my bucket is as visible
as the top.
But have
you noticed (as I have) that there are some people whose buckets
never stay filled? The good stuff goes in ... but it drains
right on through. So you keep filling, but things just keep
draining. It's like there's a hole in their bucket, meaning
that there can never be enough accolades or "attaboys" ... can
never be enough assurances or absolutions ... can never be
enough rewards or recognitions. What you do for them today,
you have to do for them tomorrow. Then you've got to do it
the next day. And the day after that. Either because they
didn't get it the first three times ... or because they didn't
believe it, once they got it ... or because they couldn't hold
onto it, or build anything upon it, before they lost it.
Did you
ever meet anybody whose ego you couldn't stroke, whose esteem
you couldn't build and whose sins you couldn't forgive, even
though you tried? They heard everything you said. They welcomed
everything you did. But it all leaked out somewhere, minutes
after you said or did it.
The world
treats this as a psychological problem. In part, it is. And
if you suffer from this problem, you can spend a lot of time ... and
a lot of money ... rummaging around in the basement of your
psyche, trying to figure out what went on (early or late)
to rust or puncture your bucket bottom. Don't get me wrong.
Psychology is a valuable enterprise. Therapy is a valuable
exercise. And many of its practitioners are wonderful servants
of God. Perhaps they can help you find where the leakage started.
A little
over a month ago, a young woman came in second in the figure-skating
competition in the Winter Olympic games in Japan. She had
skated magnificently and had seemed pleased with how well
she had performed. But her performance left just a crack in
the window ... so tiny a crack that you and I couldn't even
see it (we thought her performance was a "lock") ... .and
through that crack skated another. This second skater was
well known to us, and well loved by us. And this second girl
overtook the first girl, claiming the gold. Which left the
first girl gracious in defeat, albeit weeping in disappointment.
And before the TV cameras, she expressed her congratulations
to the winner and her love to her coaches and family members.
But then, in a whisper so quiet you had to lip-read it, she
added: "I hope you still love me."
Who knows
where that came from in Michelle Kwan. Who knows where it
comes from in any of us. But there it is, an empty bucket.
Which happens to all of us, occasionally ... and to some of
us, perpetually.
The more
assertive of us simply ask for what we want. I'm fascinated
by the people who feel free enough to say to me: "I need
a hug." Still others are not bashful in announcing their
need for a hand, a hope, or even a kind word. But I fear that
the perpetually needy say nothing. Instead, they just keep
thrusting their bucket forward, in the direction of everyone
they meet, and in the midst of every place they go. The bucket
speaks volumes: "Stroke me ... bless me ... forgive me ... fill
me," it cries. Which works, for awhile. But pretty soon,
people get tired out from putting in. So the attention drops
off, the affirmation drops off, and the needy are written
off as neurotic. Even the new minister (who wonders why he
can't ever seem to do enough, say enough, or give enough to
meet someone's need) is told: "Don't take it personally,
Reverend. That's just Fran (Fred, Frank, Freda). They will
consume everything you've got to give, but it will never be
enough. Because five minutes after you give it, they'll discount
it, discard it, forget you ever said it, or find some way
to twist it from a positive to a negative. That's just the
way they are."
Or perhaps
that's just the way you are. At which point it becomes a theological
problem, don't you see. Psychology may explain it. But I have
a feeling that only theology can fix it. And how can theology
help you do that? Two ways, I think. First, by confirming
your identity. Second, by suggesting a strategy.
First,
your identity. Let me ask you a question. Who tells you who
you are? Now let me answer that question. God tells you who
you are. That's who tells you who you are. But God doesn't
stop there. God tells you what you're worth, too. Which is
probably a whole lot more than you ever imagined ... or insured
yourself for. It is nothing short of spiritual conceit to
think that your devalued opinion of yourself matters more
than God's exalted opinion of you. And it is sheer arrogance
to proclaim yourself unforgivable (or failing to forgive yourself),
when God's mercy has already been offered to you, free for
the asking.
If you
look at "you" and see dirt ... and I look at you
and see diamonds ... whose opinion should matter most? Which
is a hard question to answer. So let me phrase it differently.
If you look at "you" and see dirt ... and God looks
at you and sees diamonds ... whose opinion should matter most?
If you still say "yours," you've proved my point
about conceit.
Prayer
room of the synagogue.
Rabbi
enters. Beats his breast. Cries: "O Lord, I am nothing,
I am nothing." Cantor enters. Beats his breast. Cries:
"O Lord, I am nothing, I am nothing." Custodian
enters. Beats his breast. Cries: "O Lord, I am nothing,
I am nothing." Rabbi turns to cantor and whispers:
"Look who thinks he's nothing."
I suppose
we all are "nothing," to some degree. But to revel
in a lower opinion of yourself than God has of you, is as
arrogant and self-centered as the opposite extreme. Having
said that, however, I am not sure there is an opposite extreme.
Can you really think higher of yourself than God thinks of
you? I'm not sure you can.
I just
love Fred Craddock's stories. In fact, I love Fred Craddock.
Fred teaches preachers. But this story occurred when he was
taking a vacation from teaching preachers. He was in the Smokey
Mountains, having dinner with his wife. It was a wonderful
restaurant ... lofty elevation ... window table ... quiet ... intimate.
Suddenly an older gentleman came over to the table and introduced
himself. Said Fred: "He was a nice enough fellow, but
I really didn't want this thing to stretch on and on, you
know."
After
awhile, the gentleman asked Fred what he did. Fred said: "I
made a mistake and told him the truth. I told him I was a
preacher who taught preachers." Whereupon the old gentleman
pulled up a chair to Fred's table and said: "Good, I've
got a story to tell you." The old man even shanghaied
a waitress and ordered pie and coffee before launching into
his story. But what a story it was.
When
I was a little boy growing up in eastern Tennessee, I was
embarrassed, you see. My mother had never married. As a
matter of fact, I never knew who my father was. In town,
I was simply known as the illegitimate boy. You know what
they called me. Sometimes they would snicker and talk and
I would see them whispering when I was around. I heard rumors
that my father was a drunk somewhere. It was a shameful
way to live.
When
I was in junior high school, I began to attend a little
church in the town. Each Sunday, I would slip into the back
pew. Then, as the last hymn would start, I would get up
and leave. But the preacher picked up on my pattern, noticing
that I always came late and left early. So one Sunday, when
the organist started the closing hymn, the preacher hurried
to the back of the church and stood between me and the door.
There was no other way out. I knew I wasn't going to be
able to leave without being greeted.
As the
hymn ended, I stepped into the aisle and tried to slip through
the crowd. But the preacher restrained me, putting his hand
on my shoulder. In a voice that could be heard by everybody
around, he said something that embarrassed me almost to
tears. He said: "Now let's see. I don't believe we've
met. Whose child are you?" Before I could say anything,
the preacher answered his own question. "Oh, I know,
you are the child of ... you are the child of ... yes, you
are clearly the child of God. I see a striking resemblance."
After
talking awhile and finishing his pie, the old fellow got up
to leave. Whereupon Fred said: "You know, I never got
your name." The old man smiled and said: "The name's
Hooper. I was fortunate enough to serve two terms as governor
of the state of Tennessee."
So much
for identity. Now for a word about strategy. How do you keep
the good stuff...the kind stuff ... the helpful and healing
stuff ... the merciful and redemptive stuff ... from leaking
out the bottom of your bucket? I'll tell you how. You empty
it from the top before it can slip out the bottom. You give
it back. You give it out. You give it away. You fill by emptying.
Which
is a frightening thought when you don't think your bucket
contains much. Because you want to hoard what little you have.
But the great Gospel principle is that you gain by losing ... you
keep by letting go ... and you achieve greatness as the by-product
of an outpouring of service. Recall the words of Paul, read
earlier:
Let
the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though
he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with
God as something to be exploited. But, rather, emptied himself
(wonderful verb), taking the form of a servant, being born
in his likeness, and, humbling himself, became obedient
to the point of death, even death upon a cross. Therefore,
God highly exalted him ...
Which
suggests, you see, that the cross was a choice rather than
a circumstance. Most of us see it just the opposite. We talk
about "the crosses we have to bear," as if they
were just additional pieces of life's baggage ... life's heavy
baggage:
O me,
O my, I've got this infected hangnail ... this bum knee ... this
bum ... this boss ... this congregation that grumbles...this
colon that rumbles ... this house ... this louse ... this
spouse ... I guess it's just the cross I'm saddled with.
Jesus
never talked about the cross as something he was "saddled
with," so much as something he "volunteered for."
The verb is an active one. "Take it up," he said,
"for it is the way that leads to life." You want
to know the difference between a cross and a burden? I'll
tell you the difference. A cross is something you bear for
someone else's benefit. But, in the paradoxical economy of
the Kingdom, that is precisely what saves you ... bearing someone
else's burden.
An elderly
patient in a frayed bathrobe shuffled back and forth in a
hospital corridor, the aimless movement of one who has outlived
his time. Suddenly a name was sounded. His name. He turned
to the sound, drawn instinctively toward that name. The name
caller was a nurse's aide, pushing a cart filled with pitchers
of crushed ice. A mumbled conversation followed. Disbelief,
followed by determination, registered on the old man's face.
For she had conscripted him to help deliver pitchers to the
patients. Need had saved him. Mercy, in a white uniform, had
smiled upon him in the nick of time.
The old
man still shuffled. His hands still trembled. And efficiency
ratings must have tumbled drastically that afternoon. But
you could see in the old man's eyes that he had been touched
by grace. Fearing that his stamina could not survive the test,
the aide pointed down the corridor and said: "We've got
to go all the way to the end of the hall." To which he
replied (in a cracked voice): "Honey, I'd go clear to
the end of the world for you."
*
* * * *
Have this
mind among you which you find in Christ Jesus who, though
he was in the form of God, counted equality with God not as
something to be exploited, But emptied himself ...
Whereupon
God exalted him.
Note:
Fred Craddock's story is currently receiving wide circulation.
I heard it from my Indiana colleague, Phil Amerson. The story
about the hospital corridor comes from Gene Owens in his splendid
little book, Confessions of a Religionless Christian.
Paul's words from the second chapter of Philippians are part
of a very early Christological hymn. While it is unlikely
that these words were sung in first century worship, they
probably formed an early credal statement about the person
and work of Jesus Christ. Paul clearly knew of its existence
and incorporated it into his Philippian correspondence.
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